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Intoxicating highs and deep darkness: living and loving with bipolar disorder


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Every day I find myself fighting against my own instincts. This is a message to my husband – and everyone who has loved someone with mental illness

When you look at me, you may not see anything out of the ordinary. Too much hair. Broad shoulders. Normal height. Normal weight. Normal eyes, normal mouth, normal nose, normal face. Five fingers, five toes, two arms, and two legs that are a bit too short.

But please don’t be fooled. Despite what you may see, I am an evolutionary anomaly. My feet aren’t webbed, and I have no gills. I have no supernatural powers; in fact, my terrible eyesight and hearing would say the opposite. But an evolutionary anomaly I still am because every day I find myself fighting against the basest of animal instincts that has allowed our species to survive thousands of years: the instinct to live. To stay alive. To not self-destruct.

Continue reading…Every day I find myself fighting against my own instincts. This is a message to my husband – and everyone who has loved someone with mental illnessWhen you look at me, you may not see anything out of the ordinary. Too much hair. Broad shoulders. Normal height. Normal weight. Normal eyes, normal mouth, normal nose, normal face. Five fingers, five toes, two arms, and two legs that are a bit too short.But please don’t be fooled. Despite what you may see, I am an evolutionary anomaly. My feet aren’t webbed, and I have no gills. I have no supernatural powers; in fact, my terrible eyesight and hearing would say the opposite. But an evolutionary anomaly I still am because every day I find myself fighting against the basest of animal instincts that has allowed our species to survive thousands of years: the instinct to live. To stay alive. To not self-destruct. Continue reading…