Men are shamed into hating anything feminine in themselves and in the world, and if they dare question that hatred, they are forced to relive the shame
In a recently resurfaced 2007 interview from The Ellen Show, Ellen Degeneres is shown upbraiding guest Celine Dion for allowing her then six-year-old son to grow his hair long. “He is beautiful,” Ellen says, “but look at that hair! When are you gonna cut that hair?” Initially, Dion’s feathers get ruffled (“Do you have a problem with that?” she shoots back) but ultimately she seems hesitant to take anything resembling a political position. What’s more surprising is Ellen’s policing of gender expression here – particularly when considering that she herself is a gay woman who openly flouts gender norms.
But patriarchy and its prerogatives are not solely the province of men. Women can and often do claim them – just as any disenfranchised group will do what they can to cling to power. Throughout my childhood, I watched my own mother turn male prerogatives against herself without realizing it. There was an invisible line she would never cross, and I learned not to cross it either.
Continue reading…Men are shamed into hating anything feminine in themselves and in the world, and if they dare question that hatred, they are forced to relive the shameIn a recently resurfaced 2007 interview from The Ellen Show, Ellen Degeneres is shown upbraiding guest Celine Dion for allowing her then six-year-old son to grow his hair long. “He is beautiful,” Ellen says, “but look at that hair! When are you gonna cut that hair?” Initially, Dion’s feathers get ruffled (“Do you have a problem with that?” she shoots back) but ultimately she seems hesitant to take anything resembling a political position. What’s more surprising is Ellen’s policing of gender expression here – particularly when considering that she herself is a gay woman who openly flouts gender norms.But patriarchy and its prerogatives are not solely the province of men. Women can and often do claim them – just as any disenfranchised group will do what they can to cling to power. Throughout my childhood, I watched my own mother turn male prerogatives against herself without realizing it. There was an invisible line she would never cross, and I learned not to cross it either. Continue reading…